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"Survivor’s Guilt"Written By: Dùlin Fic #5 In the Thirty Kisses Arc Archive: This arc is archived on this site with permission. Do not reproduce it anywhere without permission. Pairing : 1x4x1, 6x2x6 Rating : PG Warnings : Angstness, humor, New Type-ness, mentions
of violence. Fic #4 in the Bullet Arc. Sequel to #28 – Bulletproof,
#18 – Physical Therapy and #27 – Post-traumatic
Stress Disclaimer : Those yummy boys and girls belong to Sunrise and Bandai. Which are not me.
"Survivor’s Guilt" Duo rapped his knuckles against the door of Heero’s office, but as usual he didn’t wait for an answer to let himself in. “Yo. Got time for a coffee ? My treat.” Heero’s eyes went from the pile of case files on his desk to the quite obviously fresh mug of steaming coffee next to his keyboard, then to the dark circles under Duo’s eyes, and he nodded. “Sure.” He followed Duo down the corridor to the cafeteria and chose a corner table as far away from the windows as possible while Duo fetched what the cafeteria called coffee and what he called battery acid. It was a far cry from the ground coffee that every field officer lucky enough to have an office instead of a cubicle kept in their desk, but it gave a nice punch in the guts. Duo came back with two paper cups filled to the brim. He sat down, took a sip, grimaced, and rubbed his eyes. “So ... how are things ?” Heero shrugged, and Duo smiled wearily. “You too, heh ?” “I guess so,” Heero said. “Sally sent you to Dr. Simmons, right ? You guys got a session already ?” “Just one,” Heero said, finally tasting the coffee and immediately vowing to feed the potted plant with it, as he did every time. Duo didn’t seem to want to take more than a sip either. They could have shared a mug of real coffee in his office, but Heero could understand the need to not stare at the walls while pretending to work right now. “We’re going back for individual sessions next week.” “He’s good.” “He’s alright,” Heero agreed. Another silence, and Duo looked away. “Do you get them too ?” he asked. “The nightmares ...” Heero stared at his coffee and didn’t answer. Maybe if he stared long enough ... but Duo’s voice managed to cut through it all. “There’s the one where you know everything that’s gonna happen, but no matter what you try you don’t make a difference ... and sometimes you make it worse. And then there’s the one where it happens over and over again ... I don’t know which one is worse.” “I don’t remember my dreams,” Heero said in a monotone. “Me neither, man,” Duo said with a broken smile. “Just the nightmares.” He sighed and got up abruptly. “Y’know, I’ve been trying real hard, but he’s really not making it any easier. He’s a pain, honestly. I always have to make sure he doesn’t overtire himself, and then he’ll get antsy and we’ll fight over nothing because he thinks he’s alright and I know he’s not. I mean, he always apologizes, but it gets tiring, the whole ‘fight, kiss and make-up’ routine.” He laughed. “I guess you know what it’s like, heh ?” Heero nodded wearily. Duo laughed again. “We should get back to work,” he said. |
